Wednesday, August 23, 2017

I Hate the Porgs Already

My feelings of disgust and hatred for the Ewoks might have just been trumped by the newest cute critters from the "Star Wars" universe. The porgs are creatures that look like a mix between a hamster and a penguin. Their big dopey eyes add a Beanie Baby cuteness to them that will either melt your heart or, in my case, make you throw up in your mouth a little. They were inspired by a real animal found in Skellig, Ireland called puffins. Rian Johnson shares how they came about.

"If you go to Skellig at the right time of year, it’s just covered in puffins, and they’re the most adorable things in the world. So when I was first scouting there, I saw these guys, and I was like, oh, these are part of the island. And so the Porgs are in that realm,” he told EW.

I totally understand from a business standpoint that you need something cute and doughy-eyed to market and sell to the kids. The porgs definitely fit that description every disgusting way possible. However, that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm going to have to buy one of these things for my daughter and listen to it's obnoxious screeches for hours on end.

If these little rats end up somehow defeating the First Order as they come to Ahch-To to capture Luke Skywalker and Rey, I'll just absolutely lose it and probably have to be carried out of the theater. Maybe they'll just chirp at them and they'll decide to leave the planet on their own from the annoyance. You can check out their maddeningly irritating sounds in the video below.

If you think they're cute and already can't get enough of them, the "Star Wars" YouTube channel posted a "Star Wars Blips" showing us what sort of mischievous antics we can expect from these things. Check it out below.


  1. I just can't believe they did this. I might not see the film because of it. They already had this history of the disasters with Ewoks, Jar Jar, etc. They did not need to try to get pre-tween girls on board; they would have seen the movie anyway. I don't see any way to stop this train wreck now. What a shocking loss for the franchise. Well, maybe not shocking. Unspeakably disappointing.

  2. ...i hate porgs, looks worse as Jar-Jar and Ewoks..:-(, what comes next time?

  3. I cannot stand porgs. Now, the truth is, I never had an issue with the Ewoks or Jar Jar, probably because I was just a kid when I first saw ROTJ and TPM so even today I don't mind them. But the porgs cross the line for me. I like cute things, but I like it when they actually play a part.

    And frankly, the porgs are useless AF. All they do is fly and waddle around with those bug-eyes to suck you in. Some of us want to eat them. The only reason why I'd eat one is because they're annoying and Chewie did not eat one in the movie. Had they not be turned into a whole bunch of memes and were marketed like crazy, I wouldn't have a problem.

    At least Jar Jar and the Ewoks did something to contribute to the plot. So, did you actually end up having to buy one for your daughter? Well actually, I may say I like cute things but maybe this kind of cuteness the porgs represent is not the type of cute thing that is for me. And when it gets shoved down my throat, it gives me more reason to hate it.